SELF-SABOTAGE… actor Charlie Sheen has a problem. Born Carlos Irwin Estevez in New York City in 1965 (son of actor Martin Sheen and artist Janet Templeton) he has had a checkered career. Lots of ups and lots of downs. There is no doubt that he is very talented… many movies (Platoon, Major League, Wall Street, etc.) and the star of the #1 rated television comedy series, Two & a Half Men. It is no secret that he was fired from that television series for reports of alcoholism, drug abuse, etc. This isn't the first time Charlie Sheen has fallen from grace. He has a habit of succeeding, creating failure, succeeding, and creating more failure. He is now on the path to succeeding again… starring in a new television series called "Anger Management". There is definitely a pattern here. Painful in its predictability.
Self-sabotage is not necessarily restricted to the "rich and famous". Lots of people fall prey to this affliction. It shows up in the Sales Business quite frequently… in its simplest state a Salesperson will have some successes and then become inconsistent in their performance… complacency sets in. In its more advanced form it can end up in job loss, ruined careers, financial bankruptcy, even divorce.
Here is your ACTION STEP… the important thing in dealing with self-sabotage is to think of it like an air conditioner. When success arrives on the horizon, the air conditioner (self-sabotage) kicks in and "cools things down". You can't let that happen. Here are the four main reasons self-sabotage shows up and a suggested solution for each:
1. "I'm not good enough"… use a series of small victories to rebuild your confidence and remind you that you are capable of overachieving consistently.
2. "I need to please everyone"…forget it, it is impossible to make everyone happy, especially in Sales. Here's the rule from now on… Go with your gut feel. If it doesn't feel good, don't do it.
3. "I always focus on what I don't want to happen"…two thoughts here… #1. Only pay attention to the things that you can control & #2. Refill your tank every day with positive input (success Journal, personal goals, vision board, affirmations and no news!).
4. "I just have to work harder"… while work ethic is important, focusing on your priorities (both business and personal) every day will get you a lot further ahead. Tip: write the top 3 out every day before you start.
Sometimes it's just believing that you can't do it that gets in the way. You get to a certain level of achievement and then your belief system says, "Stop here, this is as far as you can go. You've reached your upper limit." That belief is sometimes supported by those with whom you spend the most time. Make sure that you are not feeding the self sabotage demons by spending time with people who are guilty of… a) trying to hold you back to make themselves feel better, b) thinking small, c) are jealous of you and have a hidden agenda. Cut them loose. One last thought, just because you have made mistakes in the past, just because you have failed before doesn't mean that you are like Charlie Sheen. It doesn't mean you are sabotaging yourself every time you make a mistake. The difference is how you handled the knowledge you gained from the experience. So far it doesn't appear that Charlie has learned from his mistakes… just make sure you do. Be the star of your own show and keep it running forever. NO Excuses.