Part #4… HOW YOU THINK
We have covered a multitude of the best ideas and techniques for developing and building that all important WINNING MINDSET. Four separate categories:
“You become what you think about all day long”
Ralph Waldo Emerson
Have a super-tough guard dog at the door of your mind…protect your mindset at all costs. It’s one of your most priceless assets. Here’s Part 4, the last section… possibly the most important for developing and maintaining a WINNING MINDSET…
- Master the Concept of E + R = O
Event + Response = Outcome. Motivational guru and author Jack Canfield has popularized this equation in his teachings. Here’s how it works…Events happen and as we respond, so is created the outcome. The only item over which you have complete control is your response. You are 100% in control of your response every time. While you have no control over the events – you have total control over the outcome to the extent that it is affected by your response.
Steve Jobs started Apple Computer along with Steve Wozniak in 1976. Together they built the company to 4000 employees generating a gross revenue of in excess of $2 billion in less than 10 years. Fast forward 10 years. In 1985 the Board of Directors felt Steve was “hurting the company” and he was fired.
Undaunted, Steve immediately started Pixar Entertainment with the Disney Corporation and subsequently NEXT Computer. Pixar became a huge success (Toy Story, etc.) and NEXT developed some very appealing software. This software was so appealing that Apple Computer purchased NEXT in 1996 for $429 million. Jobs was the CEO of NEXT so with that development, he returned to his post as Apple’s CEO.
This is a perfect example of the power of E + R =O. Mr. Jobs did not have control over events (he was fired!) but he did have total control over his response (building Pixar and NEXT). You can view a great video of Steve telling this story in his Stanford Commencement Address in 2005 on YouTube.
It does take strong mental toughness to keep things on an even keel on a daily basis. Ever receive a tough e-mail or a nasty rejection in your real estate sales business? Of course, everyone does. The 24-hour rule really helps out here. Whenever possible, don’t respond for 24 hours. By that time your emotion will be under control and you will then be in a much better position to “do the right thing” in a controlled and professional way.
Some great advice that I heard from one of my mentors a few years ago with regards to “my reaction”. I was told that, “It’s not so much how you react initially, it’s your second reaction that counts”. When you are confronted with negativity, criticism, adversity, etc. it’s almost a natural reaction to respond in a similar fashion. That’s your first reaction. The key is to take a deep breath and decide on your second reaction. That’s where rational thinking and your mental toughness will serve you best.
- Pat Yourself on the Back Periodically
Ambition is a two-sided coin. It drives you to strive for more and reach beyond your grasp. That’s good. The other side is that sometimes we are so busy being ambitious and reaching that we don’t stop to “smell the roses”. That’s not so good. It’s important to pat yourself on the back frequently. Let’s look at three aspects of this idea…Why to do it?, How to do it?, & When to do it?
WHY? – too often we don’t separate our ambition from our accomplishments. When something good happens, especially as a result of your actions – you should take a moment and recognize your achievement. Don’t be so busy trying to climb the next step that you don’t acknowledge what you have done. Your mindset deserves that.
HOW? – start a Success Journal. Just write down three things every day that answer the question… “3 Great Things That Happened Today”. I have been doing this for years and it only takes five minutes at most. These successes don’t always have to be about your real estate sales business. Something gratifying in your personal life certainly qualifies to be on the list.
WHEN? – I found that the best time to do this is every night just before I go to bed. You have the whole day behind you to reflect on plus it’s a great way to drift off to sleep with positive thoughts on your mind. It’s a stress reliever.
By taking on this concept of patting yourself on the back every day you are reaffirming all the good things that your mindset needs to feed it. It’s another way of “filling up your tank”. Looking after your mindset and your attitude is an “inside job”. The Success Journal approach is a simple and very effective technique to strengthen your mental toughness muscle.
BONUS Idea… I have a Real Estate Coaching Client who does this every night with his two young sons. Everyone shares their successes of the day. It’s a great way to educate your children early in life plus it makes everyone feel good about their day as a family.
- Focus on the Important
In 1924, Bill Havens qualified for the Summer Olympics in Paris as a member of the USA four-man canoe race team. As their departure time drew near it became obvious that Bill’s wife would be giving birth early to their first child during these Olympics. Bill had to make a decision… should he go to Paris and risk not being at his wife’s side when their baby was born? Bill “focused on the important” and stayed home and missed the Olympics.
As the events unfolded, his team won the gold medal in Paris and ironically, Bill’s wife was late in giving birth to their child. He could have taken part and won the gold medal. Friends consoled Bill. His response was profound, “Not everybody has the strength of character to say NO to something he or she truly wants in order to say YES to something that truly matters.”
The rest of the story… a son was born to the Havens family. His name was Frank. Twenty eight years later in 1952 Bill received a cablegram from Frank. It was sent from Helsinki, Finland where the 1952 Summer Olympics were being held. The cablegram read, “Dad, I won. I’m bringing home the gold medal you lost while waiting for me to be born.”
It’s amazing how things turn out. Frank had just won the gold medal for the United States in the canoe racing event. It’s a great story and at the same time the message is clear…focus on the important and good things will happen.
Selling homes is a road filled with potholes. You can easily get distracted, be thrown off track, and at the end of the day wonder, “Did I accomplish anything I wanted to?” It is critical to eliminate emotion and drama and replace it with the reality of hard work and logic. The key is to remind yourself about the need to focus on the important tasks and not the “whirlwind” that goes on around you all day long.
Recommended Reading: Chris McChesney and Sean Covey deal with this very effectively in their excellent book about getting it done entitled “The 4 Disciplines of Execution”.
Say NO to the interruptions that come along that throw you off track. Say YES to doing one thing at a time. Do not falling prey to picking up every “shiny penny” you see, especially when performing tasks you’d rather not do. Don’t get distracted from doing your daily prospecting for seller listing appointments. Make sure you ask all the questions when you are prequalifying that home buyer. Remind yourself to ask for referrals when speaking to your past clients and centers of influence. That’s having the strength of character that Bill Havens was talking about. No emotion, no drama, just hard work and logic.
Bottom line… when you focus on the important, you know you are doing the right thing – that way you’ll feel good about yourself and your frustrations will melt away. More ammunition to build that WINNING MINDSET in the face of what’s going on around you.
- Stop Having to “Be Right”. Just say NEXT!
In 2013 the Target Corp. opened 133 stores in Canada all across the country. It was a huge undertaking. Two years later in January 2015 they announced that the profitability was too far in the future and they had decided to close all 133 stores in the next six months. Within 30 days they started closing stores everywhere… 17,600 jobs lost, $2+ billion lost. Now THAT’S a big mistake! I doubt you’re going to be able to match that no matter how many mistakes you make.
We all make mistakes. One of my mentors, Darren Hardy, (author, “The Compound Effect” & “The Entrepreneur Roller Coaster”) and publisher of Success Magazine says his Father made it very clear… “If you are going to get better, you have to push yourself. If you push yourself, you’re going to fall. If you’re not falling, you’re not pushing. Falling is part of getting better.”
The next time you make a mistake… just say NEXT. Don’t worry about always being right. That’s just a defense mechanism that gets you nowhere. Learn from your mistakes and keep moving forward. As Tony Robbins says, “No looking back… there’s a reason why the windshield is so much bigger than the rearview mirror”.
As soon as you give yourself permission to make mistakes, to admit error, to be critiqued, to be open to suggestion,… you give yourself permission to be mentally tougher, have more confidence, and grow exponentially. When you take your ego out of the equation and start every day at zero… your self-confidence will skyrocket. More immunity for your mindset. You are definitely winning!
- Think Bigger
This is part of having an “out-of-the-box” mentality. Think and act every day like the $1 million producer you are. Buy the Robb Report and Success Magazine every month. Spend time with people that do more than you do as often as possible. Take away all limits you set on yourself.
Set exciting goals, dream big, visualize the future in its best light.
Be the top producing real estate salesperson you know you can be. Act as if it were impossible to fail. As author Price Pritchett instructs… “If you must doubt something doubt your limits”.
Think bigger and act like the person you want to become. This is not about acquiring “more stuff”. This is about giving your mindset permission to be successful in advance. Use the Law of Attraction in your favor.
- Read These Books
“Stop Saying You’re Fine” – Mel Robbins
“Get Motivated” – Tamara Lowe
“YOU2” – Price Pritchett
“Relentless” – Tim Grover
“Real Estate Sales Results” – Bruce Keith
“Surefire Sales Strategies” – Bruce Keith
“Wooden On Leadership” – John Wooden
“The Energy Bus” – Jon Gordon
When we started out looking at “The #1 Success Factor… Building a Winning Mindset”, I promised you three things:
#1. I promised you’d be a lot tougher. I trust that you can now see how you can build up your immunity to the rejection, negativity, fear, and doubt that comes at you every day? With your new mindset you will deal with those things like water off a duck’s back.
#2. I promised that you will now be well-equipped for the ride… what goes on in your business may be an emotional ride but now you’re ready to handle it.
#3. I promised that you’d be more confident than ever… it’s your confidence that fuels your mindset. Your confidence comes from doing the right things and staying away from the wrong things. You now have a very clear path on how to do that. Take on these ideas, commit yourself to the WINNING MINDSET that you deserve. The alternative is not acceptable… that’s for everyone else… not you. You are now walking down completely different street.
One final suggestion… YouTube Jimmy Valvano’s ESPY speech March 1993 when he accepted the Arthur Ashe Courage Award.
Former basketball player, Coach, and broadcaster… Jimmy V. was the essence of positive energy, enthusiasm, and living life to the fullest. Sadly he died of cancer shortly thereafter in April of 1993. His message was simple… Jimmy said, “Never Give up…don’t ever give up!” Here’s another promise for you…watching Jimmy’s farewell speech will be a very fulfilling 11 minutes. Check it out.
Take on Jimmy’s WINNING MINDSET and you will never look back… commit today to having an ironclad mindset and not only will you change your own life… you will change the lives of those around you. One step at a time, it’s like building your “mindset’s bank balance” using compound interest. It builds on itself and creates unstoppable momentum. YOU CAN DO IT!
Leave a comment below. What confidence builders do you use to stay positive…especially in the face of adversity?